Julia Jones - The Teenage Years Read online

  “Back with your oldest, dearest friends,” Mom had said to me just that morning, in the sickening, reassuring tone she was always using. “I’m sure Millie is going to be so excited to see you again!”

  “Yeah, right!”

  Taking a deep breath I picked up the phone and tried Blake’s number.

  I could feel my palms sweating and held my breath as I listened to the dull sound of the dial tone.

  “What if he’s not home?” I thought to myself. “What if he’s gone away as well? And worse still, what if he answers and doesn’t want to talk to me?”

  The phone seemed to ring forever.

  “Pick up! Pick up!” I said into the receiver.

  Then just as I was about to put the phone down, a deep male voice answered.

  “Hello?”

  “It must be his dad. It sounds just like his dad. I think I’ll just hang up.” The thoughts raced frantically through my mind but I could not bring myself to speak.

  “Hello,” the voice repeated. “Is anyone there?”

  “H…Hello,” I stammered, my voice croaky with nerves. “Can I please speak to Blake?”

  “This is Blake,” was the unexpected reply.

  “Blake?” I questioned. “You sound so different!”

  “Julia! Julia, is that you?” His voice had become more familiar, definitely deeper than when we’d last spoken, but certainly familiar.

  I stood there silently, feeling foolish, but I just couldn’t bring myself to speak.

  “Julia, that is you, isn’t it? I’d know that voice anywhere!”

  “Yes, Blake. It’s me.”

  “This is incredible,” he laughed. “I haven’t heard from you in so long!”

  “I know. I’m sorry. I’ve been really slack.” I sat down on my bed and stared blankly at my reflection in the mirror. I felt so awkward and had no idea what to say.

  “How are you? And what have you been up to?” his friendly tone was reminiscent of the same Blake I once knew; the Blake from my past life before everything had changed.

  “We moved back into our old house a few days ago.” I explained. “Dad has a new job here so we had to sell the farm and come back.”

  I held my breath and waited anxiously for his response.

  “Wow! Now I’m really in shock!” Was it my imagination or had his enthusiasm dropped somewhat.

  Silence came between us then, an awkward silence that I had never experienced when talking with Blake before.

  “So you’ll be going to school here as well?”

  “Yeah,” I replied.

  There seemed to be a moment’s hesitation and then the half-hearted response. “That’s so cool!”

  “So I guess I’ll see you on Monday?” My heart was hammering in my chest and a flood of nausea churned in my stomach.

  “Yeah, worse luck. It’s so bad that the holidays are over.” Then almost as an afterthought, he added, “But it’ll be great to see you, Julia!”

  “Yeah, you too, Blake; it’s been so long! Anyway, I just rang to say hello. I’ll see you on Monday.”

  “Ok, see you on Monday, Julia,” and with a click of the phone he was gone.

  I brushed the tears from my cheeks. They’d begun falling and I was helpless to stop them. I looked into the mirror once more.

  “You’re pathetic,” I said to myself. “What did you expect; that he’d be throwing himself at you, after being apart for three years?”

  Well that obviously wasn’t going to happen.

  I desperately tried to swallow my disappointment. The situation totally sucked. “Maybe I can just run away from home,” I thought fleetingly.

  But where would I go? I had hardly any money in the bank and I’d probably end up as one of those street kids you hear about, doing drugs and in a total mess.

  I could hear my mother calling me to go downstairs for dinner. I wished I could ignore her and just go to sleep and never wake up. But I couldn’t stand the thought of her coming into my room and telling me that everything was going to be okay.

  With a deep sigh of resignation, I stood up and went downstairs; not that I had any appetite. Right then, the thought of food just made me feel ill. Two more days; two more days of freedom and then my life was going to change yet again. A new school, new friends – or so I hoped!

  Right then, I did not feel at all positive about my future, but if I had only known what was in store, perhaps I would have chosen the option of running away after all!

  First day back…

  As I entered the gates, it was as though a thousand pairs of eyes were staring in my direction. I felt like an object on show at some type of event, where people had to check out the quality of the merchandise.

  Keeping my eyes focused on the footpath in front of me, I gripped my books closely to my chest and made my way towards the office entrance. Thankfully, over the course of the weekend, I’d managed to contact a couple of old friends who were actually pleased to hear I was back and as prearranged, they were waiting by the glass doors that led to the office.

  “At least I’m not going to be a total loner. That would have really sucked!” The thoughts racing through my head were a mixture of relief and anxiety but the warm welcome from my friends and their genuine pleasure at seeing me again was exactly what I needed to put me at ease.

  After exchanging quick hugs, they directed me to the administration desk where I was able to sort out my timetable. To my enormous relief, it appeared that we shared some classes, although I had been assigned to a completely different English class to each of them and typically, that was the first class I had to attend.

  We agreed to meet back at the same spot for morning recess and I then headed in the direction of the lockers. As I shoved my books into the locker that would be mine for the semester, I was aware that the area was bustling with students who were taking the opportunity to catch up on all the holiday gossip before being ushered into their first class.

  Then, just as I pushed the door of my locker closed, the sound of a familiar voice made my head turn.

  “Julia Jones!”

  Spinning around I found myself face to face with Sara Hamilton. And in the blink of an eye, I was engulfed in the memories of my past.

  The nightmares from middle school struck me with the sheer force of a sledgehammer. Being locked in a tiny tin shed that was hidden away in the depths of rugged bushland was a vision I would rather forget. My screams of terror as the claustrophobia kicked in, were clear in my mind and I could feel the fear that had ripped through me, as clearly as if it had happened only yesterday.

  That was only one of many vivid and frightening moments that I had tried to wipe from my memory banks, and time and distance had helped to make that possible. But the sight of Sara, the person who had caused me so much grief for so long, triggered those long forgotten and unwanted memories to reappear. Although we had parted as so-called friends, I knew that I would never really forgive her intense bullying and hatred, all those years ago.

  She stood there with her eyebrows raised questioningly and her old, self-assured confident stance. Looking directly at her, I could not help but notice that she was still as pretty as ever. Time hadn’t changed that, and if anything, she was probably even more beautiful than when I had last seen her.

  Her long, blonde hair was cut in the latest style. It was parted in the middle and hung loosely in gorgeous layers down the length of her back. The olive complexion, that I had always envied, glowed with a golden tan that set off her striking blue eyes as she stared intensely back at me.

  How on earth could she have such a stunning tan in the middle of winter? Maybe it’s a spray on, or I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s been away to some tropical paradise during the Christmas break! The thoughts raced through my mind as I stood there staring in disbelief.

  “Sara!” I exclaimed, as I desperately tried to hide the shock waves passing through my body. “I didn’t expect to see you here. I’d heard that you and your family had
moved away.”

  “Yeah we did. But my dad was transferred back here at the beginning of last semester, so here I am! And what about you? What brings you back?”

  “My dad is working here again as well, so we moved back a week ago.”

  “Oh, wow! So we’re all here together again, just like the old days!” There was no mistaking the sarcasm in her voice and I felt my skin crawl.

  This couldn’t be happening, it just couldn’t. Surely, I was going to wake up any minute and sigh with desperate relief that it had been one really bad dream, over and done with, never to occur again.

  I walked with her towards the classroom that I had located on the map I was given by the office staff. All the while, Sara prattled on as if nothing whatsoever was wrong. But I knew her too well and although she had made amends all those years ago, I knew that deep down she would never change. People like her always wanted to be in control. They had that deep-seated need to make themselves look and feel better than others.

  I never could figure out why Sara was like that. She was the best looking girl in our grade, she had a heap of loyal girlfriends, boys seemed to fall at her feet, and as well as that, her family was so wealthy that she had everything money could buy.

  Her excuse had been that she was jealous of me! Hmph! Jealous of me…how pathetic is that! How could someone like Sara possibly be jealous of me?

  Then as if things could not get any worse, she walked into the same classroom that I was headed for.

  “Nooooo!” I screamed in my mind. “Please tell me she’s not in my English class!”

  And as if in response to my unspoken statement, she turned and smiled sweetly, “Looks as though we’re in the same class. It really will be just like the old days!”

  Then with a flick of her long hair, she disappeared to the back of the room. But it was what happened next that shocked me more than ever!

  Already sitting in the back row, with one vacant seat next to him which was obviously reserved for a friend, was the most gorgeous looking guy I think I had ever seen in my entire life.

  He was deep in conversation with the person sitting on the other side and was oblivious to the fact that I was standing at the doorway, gawking at him. I simply could not help myself. It was as though my feet were rooted to the spot.

  He flicked back the long, brown locks of hair that hung untidily over his eyes and I watched his face light up in response to some humorous comment or joke made by his friend. That beautiful smile caused my heart to throb and I looked on adoringly from my spot at the front of the room.

  Forcing myself to take the nearest seat, I glanced discreetly in his direction. It was then that his face turned, but not towards mine. That beautiful smile that I had just been drooling over, burst into a wide grin as he wrapped his arms in a tight embrace around the girl who had just greeted him.

  As she sat down in the seat he had saved for her, Sara looked towards the front of the room, her eyes piercing into mine. Totally smug, she turned to face him once more and planted a possessive kiss on his smiling lips. With her arm around him, she glanced at me again and it was then that he and I made eye contact.

  Looking slightly pale and as if the color had drained from his face, he stared at me, his eyes riveted to mine.

  The realization shook me to my very core. The love of my life, Blake Jansen was going out with Sara Hamilton! Finally, after years of torment and shameless flirting, she had managed to succeed in winning him over.

  And as I turned slowly towards the front of the class, I could feel her evil stare burning into my back.

  My head was spinning, my mind reeling with disbelief. I had to fight to keep down the nausea that was rising to my throat and it took every last reserve of self-control to stay in my seat. All I wanted to do was run out of the room. Run away forever!

  When the teacher introduced me to the class, I was barely able to nod in acknowledgement. Turning bright red in embarrassment at being singled out, I put my head down and tried to focus on the book in front of me. But my eyes filled with tears, the words turned to a blur and the teacher’s voice became a droning background monotone.

  Screaming inside, I gritted my teeth and checked the clock on the wall at what seemed like thirty second intervals, willing the hands to move so that the class would end and I could make my escape.

  “Breathe, Julia! Just breathe!” The words flashed through my mind and I gulped down the oxygen I’d been depriving myself of, until finally, the bell went and everyone was allowed to file out for morning recess.

  I could not get out the door and down the corridor quickly enough. Bursting into the fresh air, I made my way across the square of grass at the front of the school and found a spot under a tall, leafy tree where I’d be hidden from view. I knew that I’d arranged to meet my friends but I just couldn’t bear to face anyone right then. I just needed to be alone.

  It all made sense now. Blake’s odd reaction to my phone call the other day was no longer a mystery.

  “What’s his problem?” I’d thought to myself after talking to him. “Even if he does have a girlfriend, surely he would still be happy to see me!”

  At the time, I could not figure it out, but now it had become perfectly clear. Blake was completely aware of the trouble I’d experienced with Sara for so long. The bullying and mean, taunting behavior had gone on and on and on. Until eventually, I stood up to her and she decided to leave me alone. But she’d always been in love with Blake. I knew that beyond any doubt. She could have had any guy in the school, but the only one she really wanted was Blake.

  Now, finally, he was hers. Well she could have him, I decided! If that was the type of person he wanted to be with then they deserved each other! With a huge sigh, I stood up and made my way back to the classrooms. The bell had gone and I didn’t want to make a spectacle of myself by being late for my next class.

  With my head down and avoiding eye contact with anyone, I went to my locker to retrieve my Math book. I could feel the eyes of onlookers as I walked past and I overheard one girl who was wearing a tight fitting, low cut top that I thought was totally inappropriate for school, say to her friend, “That’s the new girl! Apparently she used to go out with Blake Jansen.”

  “No way!” replied her friend, looking me up and down, obviously being critical of the blue jeans and faded t-shirt that I was wearing.

  “Is it so surprising that Blake actually went out with me?” I thought, giving her a hard look and continuing on down the corridor. But all the while, I could hear the sound of their laughter, ringing in my ears.

  The remainder of the day was uneventful for which I was extremely grateful. I just couldn’t have dealt with any more surprises. Although I had double classes for every subject, which was not a pleasant way to start the semester, I was really pleased to find that neither Blake nor Sara were in any of them. During lunch break I was able to catch up with my friends and apologize for not meeting up with them earlier. Having some friendly faces to hang out with …was the biggest relief of all. Otherwise, I was sure I’d be spending lunch break sitting all on my own.

  At the sound of the final bell later in the afternoon, I made my way to the bus stop and just managed to hop on the bus before it pulled out from the kerb. That would have been all I needed, to miss the bus and have to walk home. When I climbed aboard and reached the top of the steps, I looked down the aisle to see that every seat was taken. Except for one at the very front next to a nerdy looking boy covered in pimples. Rolling my eyes skyward, I sat down next to him and stared out the window lost in thought.

  Visions of my school in the country and all my friends there, flashed through my mind. I could easily picture them, laughing and joking with each other, and making plans to hang out over the coming weekend. In my head, I could see all their faces, beaming with the joy of just being together. That vision should have included me. I should have been a part of it, not stuck here in misery! It just wasn’t fair!

  Then I thought of our farm and
my beloved pony, Bella. I wondered what she was doing right then. Was she happy? And were her new owners looking after her? I had given them a list of her favorite treats and the brands of horse feed that she preferred. I missed her so much and I wondered if she missed me.

  My eyes began to well with tears and I was grateful that the bus had reached my stop so that I could get off before anyone noticed I was crying. I stood sadly on the footpath waiting for the bus to pass by so I could cross over the road. Then, quite unexpectedly, I caught the eye of a boy seated next to the window towards the back. He had been lost in thought himself, when he abruptly realized I was standing there. Then his head whipped towards me in recognition.